Couples with discord experience stress, anger, anxiety, guilt and frustration.  These dark clouds can erode your enthusiasm, initiative and happiness. Most couples either put up with these problems all their life, while others decide to put an end to it through divorce or separation. However, some couples take the bold step of seeking professional help to work on their relationship.

Nuclear families with added responsibilities, increasing number of working women, the new norm of work from home, huge influence of social media and digital world - current day couples are faced with varied and different challenges compared to earlier times.

• Gender stereotypes that stand in the way of spouses sharing an equal and mutually rewarding relationship - sharing the chores and responsibilities at home, equal rights to devote to their respective jobs and to leisure time and rest.  

  
  

• Neglecting the essential quality time together as couples get caught up in the speed and competitive work and life – turn into two individuals who may live under the same roof without much intimacy. 
  
  

• Interpersonal strain between one’s parents and  partner, or with in-laws is a major breeding ground for bickering, misunderstandings, feeling hurt and strained relations. 
  
  

• Maladaptive personality traits such as explosive anger, rejection sensitivity, difficulty trusting others, being egoistic, having a closed mind to feedback and perfectionism beyond is practical can all lead to couples getting caught in the vicious circles of blaming and trying to change the other.
  
  

• Severe marital problems and family dysfunction when one or both have addictive behaviours - whether it is substance use like alcoholism, smoking, or social media, or binge watching.

  
  

• Verbal and domestic violence that leave deep scars in each other and causes developmental damages in that last a life long in their children.

It may not be possible to always get the ideal partner and marital life that one wished and dreamt of.  Such day to day issues that arise when couples start living together can be addressed and resolved when both possess adaptive personality traits such as flexibility, emotion regulation, good communication and problem-solving skills, empathy and optimism.  

Marital therapy by clinical psychologists involves in depth analysis of the nature of problems the couple have and the factors that contribute to the marital difficulties. Through five joint sessions with both the partners, the therapist helps them learn essential interpersonal and marital skills to relate to each with care, understanding and acceptance. Each person can make changes in oneself and thus move towards solutions. Couples, who put in sincere efforts by working with their marital therapist, gradually find themselves moving away from blaming each other to gaining control over bringing back the old spark in their married life.