1. Introduction
Dual-career couples enjoy many benefits such as sharing and supporting each other in their careers, higher income and personal satisfaction. However, they also face a number of challenges such as lack of time, difficulty co-ordinating schedules, balancing multiple responsibilities, while holding a demanding job. This can drain the couple relationship, unless both of them willingly give time, effort and space to keep it connected and mutually rewarding.
2. Five sure measures to implement to achieve this are:
- Quality time together:
Lack of time together can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Schedule regular date nights or weekends away together to make sure both of you have time to connect and enjoy each other’s company. It is good to be thoughtful about what you are discussing during the time you spend together. Focus on each other’s interests, aspirations and concerns, rather that making it all about in-laws, children or work.
- Effective communication:
Couples need to have enough time and space to communicate effectively to foster understandings and togetherness. Communicate regularly and openly share your work schedules, priorities, and needs so that your partner understands. Be honest and clear about your expectations and needs, rather than expecting your partner to already know on his/her own.
Partners need to be more sensitive and careful about how they communicate when the couple have unequal career advancement where one partner’s career maybe more demanding or successful than the others, so that it does not create feelings of inadequacy and envy.
- Reduce Technoference:
While technology can help couple stay connected and reach out immediately when necessary, it can also result in interference if partner is checking work emails or social media during conversations, is distracted by notifications from devices, using devices during meals or other shared activities, expecting one partner to talk while the other is watching television or neglecting partner’s needs or requests because of over use of devices. Overtime, this can contribute to resentment, reduced intimacy and distancing in the couple.
Agree on times and places where devices will not be used, such as during meals, in bed, or during quality time together. Find ways to connect and spend time with your partner without devices. When you are with your partner, make a conscious effort to put your devices away and focus on your conversation. Apologize if you are interrupted by a device. Take action to reduce technoference if your partner expresses it as a concern, rather than treating it as an unreasonable demand.
- Maintaining healthy boundaries:
Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or controlling. It’s about protecting your own time, well-being, and relationship. Let your partner know what is and is not okay for you clearly, assertively and consistently. Once you have set boundaries, don’t make excuses for your partner or let them guilt-trip you into breaking your boundaries.
Respect each other’s work schedules and priorities. Don’t expect your partner to be available to you all the time, especially when they are working on a tight deadline. Compromises about things important to you or something that cann negatively impact your wellbeing should not be made.
Healthy boundaries should also include protected time to take care of yourself, relax and recharge. Do things that you enjoy and that make you feel good. It’s also important to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
- Problem solving together:
It can be difficult to balance the demands of two careers with household responsibilities and other personal commitments. This can lead to stress, conflict, and resentment unless the couple are able to communicate effectively, make timely joint decisions and implement solutions. Financial and household responsibilities, child care and care-giving for ailing and/or old family members need mutual commitment and sharing, rather than expecting one partner to do all of the work, even if they have a less demanding career.
Working parents could end up blaming each other when there is a problem in the child such as behavioural problems, poor academic performance, accident or illness. On the contrary, what is most beneficial is focusing on the specific challenge and supporting each other to sort out the issue as best as possible.
3. Conclusion
If you’re struggling to manage your work-life balance, communicate effectively, find addictive behaviours increasing or have frequent conflicts, seek professional help from a licensed couple therapist or psychotherapist to overcome the problems interfering with harmonious relationship.
With a demanding career, it is easy to compromise and borrow time from one’s personal relationship, because there are no evident deadlines in couple and family relationships. But effort and time needs to be invested in couple relationship if it has to be fulfilling for both partners
