Table of contents
Contributors
Dr. Narayanan Mooss
Ayurvedic Psychiatrist
Ms. Muktha
Clinical Psychologist
Key Take Aways
Masking or camouflaging in autism is a learned survival strategy where autistic individuals suppress their natural traits to appear neurotypical, often delaying diagnosis especially in women and girls who seem to cope outwardly. However, chronic masking carries serious mental health consequences including burnout, anxiety, depression, identity loss, and suicidal thoughts. Ayurveda views neurodiversity through Vata dosha, emphasizing nervous system balance through grounding routines, nourishing foods, Abhyanga, and adaptogenic herbs, while restorative yoga and mindfulness practices help rebuild body awareness and emotional safety. Unmasking is a gradual journey of self-recognition and healing, supported by community and neurodiversity-affirming therapy, and although a late diagnosis can feel overwhelming at first, it often leads to deeper self-understanding, self-compassion, and a stronger sense of belonging.
Full Article
Why high-functioning autistics are diagnosed late and what you can do about it.
For instance, you might wonder:
- Is masking always harmful?
- How can I tell if I'm masking?
- What are the benefits of unmasking?
- Where can I find support for autistic adults?
- Can someone be autistic and not know it?
All of these questions are normal and it’s understandable that you want to support your loved one to the best of your ability
While your questions are valid, it’s also important to understand that every person’s experience with depression is unique, so there are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.
What Is Masking in Autism?
Imagine being a chameleon constantly shifting your colours to blend into whatever environment you find yourself in. Not because you want to, but because you’ve learned, through years of trial and error, that showing your true colours carries a social cost you can’t afford.
That’s what masking is for many autistic people. Also called camouflaging, masking is the conscious or unconscious process of suppressing autistic traits and performing neurotypical behaviour. It’s not pretending. It’s a deeply ingrained, often exhausting survival strategy the product of repeated signals from the world that who you naturally are isn’t quite acceptable.
Masking typically involves learning and performing social scripts, suppressing stimming (self-stimulatory behaviours like rocking, hand-flapping, or humming), and imitating the communication styles, facial expressions, and body language of people around you. For many autistic individuals, this happens so automatically and from such a young age that they aren’t even aware they’re doing it.
And here’s the catch: the people who are best at it are often the last to be diagnosed. Because to the outside world, they look fine.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
The Many Faces of Masking: Examples in Daily Life
Masking isn’t one single behaviour it’s a whole repertoire of adaptations, some subtle, some elaborate. Here’s what it can look like in practice:
- Social mimicry: Copying the body language, facial expressions, and speech patterns of the people around them sometimes specific people they've studied over time.
- Scripting conversations: Mentally rehearsing conversations before they happen. Planning what to say, how to react, what face to make. Running through possible responses like lines in a play.
- Suppressing stimming: Resisting the urge to rock, fidget, pace, or make sounds in public even when those movements are genuinely regulating and calming.
- Hiding special interests: Playing down obsessive interests or deep-dive passions to avoid being seen as 'too much' or socially odd.
- Forcing eye contact: Maintaining eye contact deliberately, even when it feels intrusive, overwhelming, or physically uncomfortable because they know it's expected.
- Performing social norms: Laughing at things they don't find funny, going along with social customs they don't understand, or nodding along in conversations they've lost track of.
For some people, this is occasional and situational. For others, it’s on all day, every day a full-time performance with no breaks and no backstage.
Why Is Masking So Common? Societal Pressure and the Desire to Fit In
Nobody learns to mask in a vacuum. The drive to camouflage autistic traits is almost always shaped by experience the accumulated memory of what happens when you don’t.
From early childhood, many autistic individuals pick up on signals that their natural way of being their honesty, their intensity, their different communication style, their sensory needs makes others uncomfortable. They get excluded, corrected, bullied, or simply left out. Over time, they learn to adapt. They figure out what the world seems to want from them, and they deliver it.
Research by Dr. Francesca Happé and colleagues at King’s College London confirms that this social learning process begins early and is heavily shaped by the environment. Girls and women are particularly likely to mask, partly because of gendered social expectations around being agreeable, warm, and socially fluent which can make autistic traits in girls less visible and less likely to be flagged by teachers, parents, or clinicians.
The problem is that the same social pressures that make masking feel necessary also make it nearly impossible to stop. Conformity is rewarded. Difference is penalised. And so the mask stays on often long past the point where it’s doing any good.
The Dark Side of the Mask: The Mental and Physical Toll
Here’s something that doesn’t get said often enough: masking works, right up until it doesn’t. And when it breaks down, it tends to break down hard.
The mental and physical cost of sustained masking is well documented in research. A landmark 2021 study published in The Lancet Psychiatry found that higher rates of camouflaging were significantly associated with poorer mental health outcomes including higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. The authors concluded that masking is not a neutral coping strategy: it has a measurable cost.
The consequences accumulate across several dimensions:
- Exhaustion and burnout: Masking is cognitively and emotionally intensive work. The effort required to monitor yourself, perform neurotypicality, and suppress natural impulses all day is genuinely draining and it leaves very little in reserve for anything else. Autistic burnout a state of profound exhaustion, withdrawal, and loss of skills that can last for months is a recognised consequence of sustained masking.
- Anxiety and depression: The pressure to constantly perform, the fear of being 'found out,' and the suppression of authentic self-expression are all significant drivers of anxiety and depression in autistic adults. Research consistently shows that late-diagnosed autistic adults particularly those who masked effectively have much higher rates of mental health conditions than both neurotypical peers and autistic individuals who were identified and supported earlier.
- Loss of identity: When you spend years being someone else, you can lose track of who you actually are. Many late-diagnosed autistic adults describe a profound sense of identity confusion not knowing what they genuinely enjoy, what they actually feel, or what 'being themselves' even looks like after decades of camouflage.
- Physical symptoms: Chronic stress produces chronic physiological responses. Many people who mask heavily report persistent headaches, digestive problems, fatigue, disrupted sleep, and tension throughout the body all consistent with long-term activation of the stress response system.
It’s worth naming this clearly: masking is not a sign of resilience. It’s a sign that someone hasn’t felt safe enough to be themselves.
The Ayurvedic Perspective: Vata Imbalance and Neurodiversity
Western psychiatry gives us diagnostic categories and clinical frameworks. Ayurveda the traditional Indian system of medicine dating back over 3,000 years offers something different: a way of understanding the whole person, including their temperament, their nervous system, and their relationship to the world around them.
In Ayurvedic thinking, all human constitutions are shaped by three primary energies, or doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Vata governs movement of the body, the breath, and the mind. It is associated with the nervous system, sensory processing, communication, creativity, and adaptability. When Vata is in balance, it expresses as curiosity, quickness, and perceptiveness. When it’s aggravated, it can manifest as anxiety, sensory sensitivity, scattered attention, restlessness, and difficulty grounding.
From an Ayurvedic perspective, many autistic individuals particularly those who are highly sensitive, hypervigilant to their environment, and prone to sensory overload may have a natural predisposition toward elevated Vata. This is not a deficiency or disorder in Ayurvedic terms; it’s a constitutional pattern with its own strengths and vulnerabilities.
Masking, in this framework, further aggravates an already elevated Vata. The effort of constant self-monitoring, social performance, and suppression of natural impulses creates ongoing nervous system dysregulation exactly the kind of chronic arousal that Vata imbalance produces and worsens.
Ayurvedic tools for supporting Vata balance and by extension, helping the nervous system find more stability include:
- Warm, grounding, easily digestible foods: cooked vegetables, ghee, warm soups, and spices like ginger and cumin that kindle Agni (digestive fire) without overstimulating the system.
- Consistent daily routines (Dinacharya): Vata is aggravated by irregularity and unpredictability. Stable mealtimes, sleep schedules, and daily rituals are genuinely calming for Vata-dominant individuals and align directly with what many autistic individuals report finding helpful.
- Consistent daily routines (Dinacharya): Vata is aggravated by irregularity and unpredictability. Stable mealtimes, sleep schedules, and daily rituals are genuinely calming for Vata-dominant individuals and align directly with what many autistic individuals report finding helpful.
- Adaptogenic herbs: Ashwagandha is traditionally used to calm an agitated nervous system, reduce cortisol, and build resilience to stress. Brahmi (Bacopa monnieri) supports cognitive clarity and is sometimes used for attention and anxiety in Vata imbalance. Both have emerging research support.
Yoga for Self-Acceptance: Finding Peace Within
Yoga is often recommended for stress and wellbeing so broadly that the recommendation can start to feel generic. But for autistic individuals navigating the aftermath of masking the burnout, the identity confusion, the anxiety there is specific and meaningful evidence that the right kind of yoga practice can help.
The key word is ‘right kind.’ High-intensity, competitive, or fast-paced yoga can be dysregulating for someone with a sensitive nervous system. What the research supports and what practitioners working with autistic individuals report is slow, body-centred, predictable practice: restorative yoga, trauma-sensitive yoga, and mindful movement that emphasises internal experience over external performance.
Practices Particularly Relevant to Autistic Adults
- Child's Pose (Balasana): This deeply grounding, forward-folding posture activates the parasympathetic nervous system the body's rest and recovery mode. For someone whose nervous system has been running hot from years of masking and performance, it offers something simple and profound: a moment of genuine rest.
- Legs-up-the-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani): Elevating the legs above the heart gently reverses blood pressure, slows the heart rate, and produces a noticeable reduction in physical anxiety. It requires nothing except finding a wall and lying down accessible, effective, and deeply calming.
- Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana): This pranayama technique alternates the breath between left and right nostrils, which research suggests helps regulate activity between the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches of the autonomic nervous system. Studies show it reduces physiological anxiety markers and improves attentional control both relevant for the post-masking recovery process.
- Mindfulness and body scan practices: Practices that direct attention to internal physical sensations breath, heartbeat, bodily tension help rebuild interoceptive awareness. Many autistic adults who have masked for years have become disconnected from their own felt sense of self. Mindfulness-based yoga can help rebuild that connection.
Yoga also offers something less tangible but equally important: a context in which there is no performance required. No script to follow. No neurotypical standard to meet. Just attention to what is actually happening in your body, right now. For someone who has spent years performing for the outside world, that can be quietly revolutionary.
Finding Yourself: The Journey to Authentic Living
Unmasking is not an event. It’s a process slow, non-linear, and often uncomfortable, especially at first. After years of operating behind a carefully maintained performance, the question ‘who am I without the mask?’ doesn’t have a quick answer.
For many late-diagnosed autistic adults, the unmasking journey involves three overlapping phases: recognition, reclamation, and integration.
Therapy particularly with a therapist who has specific experience with autism in adults can be an important part of this process. So can finding community, both online and in person, with other autistic people who have made this journey before you.
Diagnosis Later in Life: Embracing Neurodiversity
The statistics on late autism diagnosis are striking. A growing body of research including a major 2023 study published in JAMA Network Open has documented a significant rise in adult autism diagnoses over the past decade. The increase is particularly pronounced among women and people assigned female at birth, who are systematically underdiagnosed throughout childhood due to a diagnostic literature and a clinical culture that has historically centred autistic boys.
Many people who receive a late diagnosis describe the same experience: decades of knowing that something was different about them, without having language for it. Years of burnout, anxiety, and relationship difficulties that were attributed to character flaws or mood disorders rather than a different neurological profile. And then, finally, a diagnosis that reframes everything.
A late diagnosis is almost always both validating and destabilising. Validating because it provides an explanatory framework for a lifetime of experiences that were previously baffling or shameful. Destabilising because it requires a fundamental rethinking of one’s life narrative and identity.
But here’s what the research consistently shows: for the vast majority of adults who receive a late autism diagnosis, the overall impact is positive. A 2022 study found that late-diagnosed autistic adults reported improved self-understanding, greater self-compassion, better access to support, and stronger connection to community following diagnosis even when the initial period of adjustment was difficult.
Embracing neurodiversity the understanding that neurological differences like autism represent natural human variation rather than deficits to be corrected is both a personal and a cultural project. It means celebrating what autistic people bring: pattern recognition, depth of focus, directness, creativity, and the kind of original thinking that comes from processing the world differently. And it means building systems, workplaces, schools, and communities that make room for those differences rather than demanding their concealment.
Sarah's Story: The Unseen Struggle
Sarah was always the one adults described as ‘mature for her age.’ She made eye contact, she asked questions, she laughed at the right moments. She had friends or at least people who thought of her as a friend. She did well in school. From the outside, she looked like someone who had it together.
What nobody saw was what happened behind the scenes.
Every conversation was scripted in advance. Every facial expression had been practised in the bathroom mirror not because she was deceptive, but because she genuinely didn’t know what her face was supposed to do and had learned to copy what she saw in others. She memorised catchphrases, studied how her classmates reacted to things, and filed the results away like a researcher building a social database.
After social events parties, school days, family dinners she would go to her room, shut the door, and lie there in the dark for two or three hours. Not because she was tired in the ordinary sense, but because the effort of being ‘on’ all day required that much recovery time.
She assumed everyone felt this way. She assumed all socialising was this much work for everyone, and that they just managed it better than she did.
By her mid-twenties, the cracks were showing. A particularly brutal period at work an open-plan office, constant interruptions, a manager who communicated exclusively through subtext triggered a collapse that took her 18 months to recover from. She stopped being able to work. She stopped being able to leave the house some days. The mask, which had held for 27 years, fell apart entirely.
The autism diagnosis, when it came, was a revelation. Not a label, but a lens a way of understanding her entire life that finally made it cohere. She wasn’t bad at being a person. She was a person who had been running an incompatible operating system on the wrong hardware for almost three decades, and she’d been doing it alone.
She’s not ‘recovered.’ She still has hard days. She still code-switches in some contexts because it’s useful and she chooses to. But the performance is no longer compulsive. And for the first time, she knows who she actually is when the mask comes off.
FAQs: About Autism and Masking
Q: Is masking always harmful?
Ans. Not always, and not in every context. Some degree of social adaptation is a normal human skill code-switching between formal and informal settings, for instance, is something most people do. The harm comes from chronic masking: the kind that’s on all the time, that suppresses authentic self-expression across all domains, and that comes with no recovery time built in. When masking is constant and compulsive rather than occasional and chosen, the mental health costs accumulate significantly.
Q: How can I tell if I'm masking?
Ans. Pay attention to what happens after social interactions. Do you feel exhausted in a way that goes beyond normal tiredness a bone-deep, need-to-be-alone-for-hours kind of fatigue? Do you feel like you’ve been performing rather than actually present? Do you find yourself replaying conversations and evaluating how well you did? These are signs of masking. Another indicator: the sense that your ‘public self’ and your private self are very different people, and that only a very small number of people (or no one) has ever met the private one.
Q: What are the benefits of unmasking?
Ans. Research and lived experience both point to the same outcomes: increased self-acceptance, reduced anxiety, better mental health, more authentic relationships, and a clearer sense of identity. Many late-diagnosed autistic adults also describe a marked reduction in the physical exhaustion that came with sustained masking. Unmasking doesn’t mean abandoning all social adaptation it means reclaiming the choice about when and how to adapt, rather than doing it compulsively and constantly.
Q: Where can I find support for autistic adults?
Ans. Start with the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), which is run by autistic people for autistic people and offers extensive resources on diagnosis, rights, and community. The Autism Society of America maintains a directory of local support groups. For clinical support, look specifically for therapists who identify as neurodiversity-affirming standard therapeutic approaches are not always well-adapted for autistic adults. Online communities like the r/autism and r/AutisticAdults subreddits, and organisations like the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN), can also provide peer community and connection.
Q: Can someone be autistic and not know it?
Ans. Absolutely and it’s far more common than previously thought. Effective masking is precisely what makes autism invisible to clinicians, teachers, and parents. The diagnostic process has historically been calibrated to identify autism in young boys with more ‘classic’ presentations; girls, women, and many non-binary people have fallen through the diagnostic net for decades. Many adults don’t receive a diagnosis until a crisis (burnout, a major life transition, a child’s diagnosis) prompts them to seek assessment. If you’re reading this and something is resonating, that resonance is worth exploring with a professional experienced in adult autism assessment
Concluding Thoughts
Imagine a garden planted with only one type of flower. It might be neat. It might even be beautiful in its way. But it would lack the resilience, the richness, and the ecological depth that comes from genuine diversity of species. A garden that only grows what conforms to a single template is a fragile garden.
The same is true of any society that treats neurological difference as a problem to be corrected rather than a variation to be understood. When we demand that autistic people perform neurotypicality and then praise those who do it well, while failing to notice the cost it extracts we’re asking people to disappear inside a version of themselves that doesn’t fit.
Understanding masking is not just important for autistic people and their families. It’s important for anyone who works with, lives alongside, or cares about people who seem to be doing fine. Because often, the ones who seem fine are the ones who have learned to appear fine regardless of what’s happening underneath.
The invitation is to build something better: relationships, workplaces, schools, and communities where the mask isn’t necessary. Where the full range of human neurology is genuinely welcomed, not merely tolerated. Where authenticity doesn’t carry a social cost.
That’s not just good for autistic people. It’s good for everyone.
Reference
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